Jokes to Offend Everybody

> What do you call two
> Mexicans playing basketball?
> Juan on Juan
>
>
>
>
> What is a Yankee?
>
> The same as a quickie,
> but a guy can do it alone.
>
>
>
> What is the difference
> between a Harley and a Hoover ?
> The position of the
> dirt bag
>
>
>
> Why is divorce so
> expensive?
> Because it's worth
> it.
>
> What do you see when
> the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
>
> Doughnuts
>
>
> Why is air a lot like
> sex?
> Because it's no
> big deal unless you're not getting any.
>
>
> What do you call a
> smart blonde?
> A golden retriever.
>
>
>
>
> What do attorneys use
> for birth control?
> Their personalities.
>
>
>
> What's the
> difference between a girlfriend and wife?
> 10 years and 45 lbs
>
>
> What's the
> difference between a boyfriend and husband?
> 45 minutes
>
>
>
> What's the fastest
> way to a man's heart?
> Through his chest with
> a sharp knife
>
>
> Why do men want to
> marry virgins?
> They can't stand
> criticism.
>
> Why is it so hard for
> women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
> good-looking?
> Because those men
> already have boyfriends.
>
>
> What's the
> difference between a new husband and a new
> dog?
>
> After a year, the dog
> is still excited to see you
>
> Why do men chase women
> they have no intention of marrying?
> The same urge that
> makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
>
>
>
> Why don't bunnies
> make noise when they have sex?
> Because they have
> cotton balls.
>
>
> What's the
> difference between a porcupine and BMW?
> A porcupine has the
> pricks on the outside.
>
>
> What did the blonde
> say when she found out she was pregnant?
> "Are you sure
> it's mine?"
>
>
> Why does Mike Tyson cry during
> sex?
>
> Mace will do that to
> you.
>
>
> Why did OJ Simpson
> want to move to West
> Virginia ?
> Everyone has the same
> DNA.
>
> Why do drivers'
> education classes in Redneck schools use the
> car only on
> Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
> Because on Tuesday and Thursday,
> the Sex Ed class uses it.
>
>
>
> Where does an Irish
> family go on vacation?
> A different bar.
>
>
>
>
> Did you hear about the
> Chinese couple that had a
> Blonde baby?
>
> They named him
> "Sum Ting Wong"
>
>
> What would you call it
> when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
> other?
>
> A speech
> impediment
>
>
>
> What's the
> difference between a southern zoo and a northern
> zoo?
> A southern zoo has a
> description of the animal on the front of the cage along
> with... "a recipe".
>
> How do you get a sweet
> 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
> Get another sweet
> little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>
>
>
> What's the
> difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
> fairytale?
> A northern
> fairytale begins "Once upon a time .."
> -
> A southern fairytale
> begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this
> shit....
>
>